Different Grounds. Different Stages. The Same Journey.
From country rugby grounds to the world stage, the privilege of coaching people through their journey.
As another long rugby season comes to an end I was jotting down the things I enjoy most about being a high-performance referee coach. It's not the big local first class games, or the international appointments where I can't explain the excitement I feel watching those I work with dealing with the pressure of the occasion; it's the people; and more importantly, being a small part of their journey.
This year I've had the privilege of working with referees at almost every stage of their development. From young officials experiencing their first taste of age-group representative rugby, through to established international referees preparing for matches at World Rugby level.
Different environments. Different expectations. Different pressures. But remarkably similar emotions.
The excitement, the nerves and the unknown
There's something pretty special about watching a young referee prepare for their first representative appointment. The excitement is obvious. So are the nerves. Will I be good enough? What if I make a mistake? What will people think? Can I handle the occasion?
And then there's that wonderful sense of hope. The belief that this might be the beginning of something bigger.
Interestingly, those emotions don't disappear as referees progress through the ranks.
The surroundings might change. The crowd gets bigger, the scrutiny increases and the consequences of decisions become more significant. But even at the highest levels of the game, there are still moments of uncertainty, excitement, self-doubt and anticipation.
The difference is that experienced performers have generally developed better tools to manage those emotions. And that's where coaching becomes so rewarding.
Getting it wrong might be the best thing that happens
One of the biggest shifts I try to encourage in developing referees is how they view mistakes.
Nobody likes getting things wrong. Particularly when the decision is made in front of players, coaches, spectators and, increasingly, television audiences. But mistakes are inevitable. And sometimes they're exactly what we need.
I've seen referees grow more from one difficult afternoon than from several games where everything went smoothly. Why? Because getting something wrong creates an opportunity to explore what happened, understand why it happened and develop a better response for next time.
The key is what happens next. Do we become defensive? Do we allow the mistake to define our performance? Or do we get curious, take responsibility and turn the experience into learning? The mistake isn't necessarily the problem. Our response to it often determines whether we grow. As coaches, our role isn't to protect athletes from getting things wrong. It's to create an environment where they feel supported enough to explore those moments honestly. Sometimes that means challenging them. Sometimes it means reassuring them. And sometimes it means simply listening. The objective is always the same. Help them become better equipped for the next opportunity.
From the Thames Valley to the world stage
One weekend it might be an Under 16 representative fixture on a country ground somewhere in the Thames Valley. The next, it might be helping prepare an international referee for a match in one of the biggest stadiums in world rugby. On the surface, those two environments couldn't be more different. But the fundamentals of performance remain remarkably consistent.
Clarity of thinking. Preparation. Managing emotions. Making decisions under pressure. Responding to setbacks. Reflecting and learning. And perhaps most importantly, having the confidence to trust yourself. The young referee trying to establish their place in the game and the international referee preparing for a major appointment are both working through their own version of the same challenge. How do I become the best version of myself when it matters? That's what makes coaching across different levels so interesting. You get to witness the little awakenings.
The moment something finally clicks. The first time a referee recognises a situation before it develops. The confidence that comes from handling a difficult conversation well. Or the realisation that one poor decision doesn't mean they've had a poor game.
Those moments might not make the highlights reel, but they're often the ones that matter most.
The coach's journey is one of learning too
Something else I've come to appreciate is that coaching is never a one-way relationship. Every referee I work with teaches me something.
The enthusiasm of a young official reminds me why we all got involved in the first place.
The determination of someone working their way through a difficult season reinforces the importance of resilience. And working alongside officials at the highest level constantly challenges my own thinking about preparation, performance and the fine margins that separate good from great. It's also a reminder that coaching isn't about having all the answers.
Often the most valuable thing we can do is ask a better question, offer a different perspective or help someone see what they couldn't see for themselves. The best coaching conversations aren't always the ones where we provide the solution. They're the ones where the athlete discovers it.
People before performance
As the season winds down, there will be plenty of reviews, development plans and conversations about what comes next. Some referees will be celebrating breakthroughs and new opportunities. Others might be disappointed with how their season unfolded.
Both experiences have value. And both deserve our attention.
Because behind every appointment, every performance review and every development goal is a person with ambitions, doubts, responsibilities and a life beyond rugby. It's easy in high-performance environments to become consumed by outcomes. But the longer I coach, the more convinced I become that when we invest in the person, we create the conditions for better performance.
That principle doesn't change whether we're working with an emerging referee, an elite athlete, a business leader or a team.
The privilege of being part of the journey
As I look back on another season, it's not just the matches or the results that stand out.
It's the conversations in changing rooms, the nervous smiles before kick-off, the frustration after a difficult performance and the satisfaction when something we've worked on finally comes together.
It's seeing confidence grow, perspectives change and people begin to recognise what they're capable of. From an Under 16 match on a country ground to the biggest stadiums in the game, I still get enormous satisfaction from being part of those experiences. Not because I get to share in the spotlight, but because I get to play a small part in someone else's development. And after another long season, that's something I never take for granted.
Different grounds. Different stages. The same journey of learning, growing and discovering what's possible.
And what a privilege it is to be part of it.
At MODe Performance Coaching, we believe the principles that help athletes perform and grow under pressure are just as relevant to business leaders and teams. Creating environments where people can learn, build confidence and turn challenges into opportunities is at the heart of what we do.
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