Young Leaders Already Know the Answer. We Just Need to Ask.
One of the great privileges of coaching is being reminded that wisdom doesn't always come with age.
Recently I facilitated a workshop with a group of young sports leaders. We talked about leadership under pressure, working with referees, controlling emotions and focusing on what they could control. But the most important thing that happened wasn't what I taught. It was what they taught each other.
Rather than standing at the front of the room telling them what great leadership looks like, I simply asked questions.
"What happens when a game starts slipping away?"
"What does a great captain do?"
"If you were the referee, what would you want from players?"
The answers came quickly ➡️ Stay calm. Bring the team together. Communicate. Lead by example. Control your emotions. Encourage others. Focus on the next play.
As I looked around the room, it struck me that these weren't ideas they had memorised from a coaching manual. They already knew them. They had seen them in teammates, opponents and leaders they admired. They instinctively understood the difference between reacting and leading.
The conversation reminded me of something I see repeatedly in coaching, whether I'm working with elite referees, corporate leaders or young athletes.
People often have more wisdom than they give themselves credit for.
The challenge isn't usually a lack of knowledge. It's creating an environment where people feel safe enough to think out loud, listen to one another and discover what they already know.
That's the power of facilitation.
When we stop trying to provide all the answers, we make room for better questions. When we become genuinely curious, people become genuinely engaged. And something interesting happens. The learning belongs to them, not to us.
As the workshop unfolded, the discussion naturally shifted from referees to something much bigger. The students realised that great leaders spend very little energy worrying about what they can't control. Instead, they invest their attention in their attitude, communication, effort and response. Again, I didn't tell them that. They told each other.
That's why I believe some of the best coaching isn't about transferring knowledge. It's about uncovering it. Young people are often underestimated. We assume they need to be told how to lead. In reality, many already possess the values and instincts that define great leadership. What they need is the opportunity to explore those thoughts, test them with others and build the confidence to act on them.
There's a phrase we often use at MODe Performance Coaching:
People support what they help create.
The same is true for learning. People remember what they help discover. As coaches, teachers, parents and leaders, our role isn't always to have the perfect answer. Sometimes it's to ask the question that allows someone else to find theirs and when they do, the lesson lasts far longer than anything we could have told them.
Because leadership isn't something we hand to people. More often than not, it's something we help them uncover.
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